With Brave Wings She Flies

Where do I begin? These last 2 months have been so hard without Emery.
Our home in Riverton finally sold and on May 30th we packed up her nursery (she would have been 6 months old). I had been dreading this day, but there was no time to put it off any longer. The crib, the changing table, the drapes, the booksling, the diapers, the decorations and all the clothes that had been washed and neatly folded awaiting for her arival had to be packed and put away. I painfully adored each little outfit as I placed them in the plastic wrap. And then came the 6 month old clothes. I imagined her in everything, scooting and rolling around. It was a slow process and I knew it would hurt.
There was a part of me that wanted to put everything back up in our new home... just as it was. I know this would not be a healthy thing to do. So instead we plan to use all her wall decorations for our guest bedroom and that will have to do.

When we lived in Riverton Kegan's night light would always go from dim to bright, and  off and on by itself. It would scare him, so I immediately told him it was Emery staying close by, and that she loves him and wants to be near him. This thought seemed to comfort him, as it did I. The light in his room would only change during the day and at night it would remain on dim the entire time. Kegan said that he had asked Emery to not change the light at night because it would scare him. We all loved the idea that Emery was still nearby and showing us. Since moving into our new home the light no longer changes. I've explained to Kegan that Emery is still with us and that she won't always be able to show us, but that she can hear and see him. Although, I have to be honest and say I was a litte sad that the light no longer changed.

Both Chris and I got Emery's birth flower tattooed on our sides. I've got Kegan's birth flower as well, and it only seemed fitting to have our baby girl's. It's a beautiful turquoise chrysanthemum with a few of the pedals turned into feathers. I will later add the words "With brave wings she flies".

We have so much love for Emery and it's extremely difficult not being able to smother her with kisses and hugs. So these things like a tattoo, a night light, or a room filled with her belongings are ways of giving us a little satisfaction until that day that we again can be with her.

We love you forever and always Emery Jane!